I've been having this profound realization lately that WHOA-I'm a mother! I know, Ben is three but it's still such a major concept to grasp. Especially as they grow older and seem more like people and less like monsters, I mean babies.
I come to this startling realization most often as I watch Dustin interact with the kids. It's like, I can't believe that he has a daughter and a son. And that they are going to grow up and have jobs and spouses and hopefully children. I wonder does this ever go away and just becaome normal or will I forever be hit by these "realizations" as my kids grow older and walk though the stages of thier lives. Isn't it funny how the yars spent in high school seemed to make up the majority of your life. Those years just DRAGGED by and then you graduate and someone pushes the fast forward button and BOOM your married and then BOOM you have two kids and then BOOM your gettin up there to THIRTY! Not that that's old but it seemed old when I was eighteen. And it's coming up so quickly.
I'm a little afraid it's going to all just pass me by before I even have the chance to realize I'm in the midst of it. Like my kids will be gone and married before I actually grasp the idea that I have in fact become a mother. It's not a wonder grandparents cherish thier grandchildren so. They know all too well how quickly they grow and change. I'm thankful for the realization of the brevity of our lives. This morning I woke up in quite a "foul disposition" but considering all these things here I think I'll just snap myself out of it, remove head from sphincter and carry on trying to be a better mother. Whatever that means...
Oh my godness, I"m a MOTHER!!!