Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Thy compassions they fail not.
It's been a long and frightening week my friends. Only in that I allow my mind to be plagued with thoughts and fears and "what if's". It's now been officially over a week since Megan woke up burning a fever of over forty. At first we were told it was Roseola, which we learned it wasn't as the fever didn't break and spots refused to rear thier ugly head. She then started vomiting on the weekend accompanied by some very friendly diarrhea. All the while her constant companion "the fever" doing it's work on her body fighting and fighting to destroy that which was ailing her. Now, the illness itself wasn't the most fearsome aspect of all of this for me it was more Megan's disposition. There we're days and days where she would lie in her bad not even sleeping just laying there staring. Not wanting to be anywhere else. Even if I picked her up to sit and cuddle her she asked to go back into bed. I've practicaly forgotten what a fun, spunky little person she really is. She's also lost alot of weight. I was shocked the other night as I was rubbing her back to put her sleep and I could feel every rib, vertebrae, and the jagged edges of her shoulderblades. No longer was her little back the smooth, soft palatte it once was. It's a little frightening to see her in the tub as well. She's been ordered a srictly clear fluids diet and once that has been tolerated hopefully she can start eating sometime this evening.
Thankfully, her fever has now broken and it's been 24 hours since she last vomited so I feel like things are slowly progressing. She's still quite lethargic and whiney. No appetite yet either. But, I do not fear the worst any longer. Thank you for those of you who sent your prayers our way. It's so greatly appreciated. And I hope in the next few days I'll get my girl back. And my thought process as well. I've been more consumed and worried about her than I realised until I heard that she's on the road to recovery. It was like a thousand bricks were lifted from my shoulders. Like I can finally allow myself to breathe, to feel, to cry. To let out the tension that's plauged my heart and mind for the last week. It may seen trivial to have been so fearful and consumed over a little virus but I just thank my Lord above that that's all it was. I feel like standing at the top of a mountain looking heavenward with my arms outstretched and singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" as my tears wash me clean. And in my heart. I am.