Friday, November 11, 2005


I've been noticing lately that Megan really enjoys looking at herself in the mirror. I'm not sure if it's just her personality or if it's just because she's a girl. Although I remember being quite small, before kindergarden, and doing the very same thing. I'd even stare at my reflection in our stainless steel toaster and imagine I was a singer with the most beautiful voice in the world.

John Eldredge, in his book "Captivating" says, "Every woman was once a little girl . And every little girl hold in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play and irreplacable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than childs play. They are the secret to the feminine heart."

Most women and little girls will attest this to be true. Don't we strive our whole childhood trying to get the attention of our daddies. We LOVE to dress up in mommy's pretty clothes and jewlery. And even now, if we could only lose those ten pounds or have whiter teeth. I wish my hair was thicker, darker, lighter, longer, straighter, curlier...I just want a new pair of jeans, or that really cute suede jacket from the Gap. This is very true in my life. A day doesn't go by that I don't analyze in my head some new plan to shed a bit of weight or go over our finances to see how I might be able to get some new clothes.


Am I trying to impress somebody? I guess so. But who? My friends could care less if I lost or gained ten pounds. My husband is certainly more than happy with the way I look. Unless he's lying to me. Which I HIGHLY doubt. And yet I still find myself struggling for this maddening desire for some sort of affirmation that I'm beautiful. Which I already have. It's not a wonder our husbands roll thier eyes at us when want them to tell us they think we're the most wonderful woman in the world to them when they just told us that we are five minutes ago.

sigh. ( I sigh alot don't I?)

Will I ever come out the other side of this seeing it all for the nonsense it truly is? Maybe not fully on this side of heaven. But, I DO know that this is something in us that's natural. God created us this way. For the desire to be lovely. That is the woman's queation. Am I lovely. And I know that answer. For it is a resounding YES echoing throughout the heavens everytime I ask this question. Maybe I'm asking the wrong person to recieve the ultimate assurance. I hope that when I see Megan desperately trying to seek an answer to this question I direct her in the right direction. To her daddy! Not her earlthy daddy, although he will always praise her hor the beauty she is but to her Heavenly Father. The Father who took such care in creating her to be the person she is at this moment. Right now at this moment, I know that I am Captivating. Tomorrow, well... the same lies will invade my brain I just hope I remember to look to the right source to find my answer again tomorrow. It's NOT on the cover of a magazine.


Jen said...

SUCH a great post Christy. Not only did you have some really great things to say but you said them so well. It's so true. Today's woman defines herself by what everyone else thinks, what she looks like and what she is wearing. Sad. I often wonder if women were always like this - trying to lose weight, buy trendy clothes, etc or if this modern woman is just the making of an unbalanced society.

Becky said...

Wow that is sooooo freaky Christy... For the first time in my life I was actually READING A BOOK! (On the bus on the way to work). And lo and behold, the same picture you posted is what the book is based on!!! It's called "Windows of the Soul", a Christian book but I can't remember the author. Anyways have a good one! Becky and I just set up our first tree and lights! :P


nelly said...

another great blog Christy! You always have the most profound things to say ,but it's so true it doesn't matter how old or young we are we all struggle for affirmation , not just in looks but also in just who we are . Am I liked or accepted ? if not do we try to change ourselves to fit the worlds mold of who we should be? I pray not! for the worlds view is so screwed up! Let us always look up thats the only view we need !!!! LOve you sweety exactly how you are! lOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER Mom

sunshinedaily4me_wuz_here said...

I agree with all the above. This is why I was immediately drawn to your blog Christy. You just have this way of aptly putting things and your observations are so right on, as far as I'm concerned.
The worldy influences will always tell us we need something more, or someone more for us to be happy or "the ideal"; however, we have to remember that God made us just like we are and to him we are perfect and his creation.

As you said, at this moment, I know this, but in an hour, I'll find myself thinking I need the latest thing to make me happy or beautiful. Your post reminded ME that I must try to always focus on God and who HE says I am.

I am doing this Beth Moore bible study right now (not sure if you guys have her in Canada) but you would LOVE her. The study is called "Believing God". It basically revolves around five statements: 1) God is who He says he is 2) God can do what He says he can do 3) I am who God says I am 4) I can do all things through Christ and 5) God's word is alive and active in me. What you are talking about is number 3! A part of the study talks about how so many poor decisions are made from nothing more than insecurity. I thought that was so true and basically is what you are talking about, I think. Ok, I've rambled. I did just want to say I agree with what you posted and I'll also add this verse:

You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139: 13-14!

Anonymous said...

Just a quick was great to see you - Dustin - working with the kids in the gymn this morning at church. Kids need real men to look up to!....and then to stay for church!! Wow! You feed the kids and then you need to be fed .. congrats for taking the time!!
Cheri Peters