Tuesday, January 22, 2008

You make me happy....

This is my firstborn son Ben. He doesn't get as much phototime on here as my other two because as soon as I take out my camera he starts making goofy faces. Which is cute but maybe not all the time. Sometimes I can catch him playing and he'll ignore the big black object I keep pointing in his general direction. Like these....






I'm not not sure how the tongue sticking out helps his jumping, it just does... okay.




The other night I was putting this big boy in his bed for the night and we started talking about the future of our family. A future that's possibly about to change...a lot. We've lived in Summerland for four years and in the next few months we may be facing a big change. A big move to another province. We love this place and we love it's people but it comes at a cost. A cost that right now is too great for us to pay. Selfishly, I want to stay. I want to see my friends everyday and drink Diet Coke around my table while our kids make messes in a room nearby. But, this dream means that my husband has to work hard. He has to work long hours at give up his dreams so I can have my big house. It's not worth it. I want more of him. Moving gives us this freedom. We will have a smaller house without beautiful hardwood floors and without a giant tiled shower but it will have more of him in it. I don't want to be one of those families that spends their life trying to get all the right "stuff" but never sees each other. I want simpler...less. less stuff...more family. But, In order for us to be able to do that I will have to say goodbye to some of the best friends I've made in my life. And Benny too.

We sat on his bed and I explained to him that we will probably be moving away and he will have to go to a new school and meet new kids and make new friends. He looked at me as the tears filled his chocolate eyes. "But I don't want to say good bye to my friends." I looked at him and saw the very same emotions that overwhelmed my heart reflected in his gentle eyes. "Me neither." I drew him onto my lap and held him as we cried together over the same loss we both face. We were connected, feeling the same exact sadness and held onto eachother for dear life. I rubbed his back and, through my tears, sang him the same song I'd sung him every night for the last five years and five months.

You are my sunshine....my only sunshine,
You make me happy, when skies are gray,
You'll never know dear, how much I love you.
Oh my dear Benny, I love you today......

22 comments:

Tianna said...

Aw...I'm all teary.

Jen said...

I'm crying. :(

Unless the other province you speak of is Saskatchewan. ;)

I know it's not.

But good luck with this decision. It'a toughy. It definitely sounds like your motivation is pure and true so I hope you get that.

Alexandria said...

Christy, I've looked up to you ever since I was a little girl, and you have never let me down. Even in adversity and sadness you are being the godly amazing woman you always were, and who I hope to be one day. I love you. I hope the transition goes well.

Prue said...

Trust in God and he will help you through it. What a great example you are being to your kids.

Amanda said...

Crying. Totally crying.

Becky said...

Crying. At work. Even though I'm personally happy you are moving. You suck to make me cry at work.. But also ROCK to be moving closer to me.. one bright side, non? Good thing my back is to the rest of the office so I can blink the tears away.

Bloggy Mama said...

I also feel sad at the things you will be leaving behind. God will pave the way!!

Ashley said...

It's hard to leave, sometimes harder on the Momma than the babies but as long as you're all together there's such great joy to be found.
We're praying for you guys in your decision, we know too well how hard it can be.

KellyLee said...

You didn't mean province right, you meant STATE of Virginia and you are going to come shoot with us? Wow Christy, that is very very adult of you. I can not imagine the tear in your heart over what is and what could be. This is such a leap of faith that God could provide for you the same wonderful community that you currently have by stepping out in faith and putting Dustin before your other needs. The Bible is so clear that God first, your husband second, your children then others. You are really showing your children so many admirable things. Glad you had that very very special time with Ben, I loved reading about it.

Heidi said...

Brooklyn will be sad to see Megan go. As sad as you all will be, the one bright spot is your children will grow up around their grandparents. I can't imagine my mom not being a regular part of my kids lives. Thank goodness for blogger!

d + r = haye jude fantastico said...

i feel for you guys, we recently made the big move from edmonton to kelowna and it's been really tough on us, and really tough on haye. it's been good and worth it and i love seeing my husband more, but i do miss my friends.

Kaili said...

I'm all teary too.
I didn't know you guys were thinking of moving. I hope everything comes together in the best possible way for you guys.

Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

Saying goodbye is sooo hard and seeing that reflected and in the heart of your child is harder still. But, life is all about change, unfortunately and it sounds like you have your priorities in order Christy! You are an amazing woman and your its sure sounds like your family will be much better for it...My heart hurts for you though in leaving good friends, but you won't lose them!!! You will just make new ones.

bill said...

Wish I could help.

Susie said...

I totally understand how you are feeling right now Christie. It is extremely hard to move away from everything and everyone you love, but you have to trust that God has a plan for your lives and when we trust in him and give our lives in his hands, we will be blessed for it. Dana and I moved out here to have more of the same of what you are talking about. Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately) it hasn't been working out exactly how we thought. Anyway, my prayers are with you as you contemplate this difficult decision.... and remember, you never have to say good bye. These people you speak of will still be life long friends.

Hopefully, we can get together when I am out. I would love to talk and share....

Angella said...

I have not told Graham that Ben is moving. I don't think he would understand, and he'd be pretty upset. He is my equal in the sensitivity area, and I already know how sad that I am about you guys moving.

Plus, if I don't talk about it, maybe it won't happen?

A girl can dream :)

JAB said...

It sounds like a beautiful moment you and Ben shared. Good luck with what the future will bring.

joyce said...

"Less stuff...more family" i love the simplicity of it. I have always hated moving and saying goodbye, but each time I've made amazing new friends.

p.s. leaving the Okanagan due to cost seems like a common theme lately(?)

Danica said...

uhhhhh...whatdya mean another province???
noooooooooo..........

Sarah said...

I'm sad for you guys that you have to leave such a beautiful place, good friends and your newly finished home. I hope that you in turn will be closer to some family and meet many new friends. We chose to move for our family, and not for the money aspect. The adjustment to our latest move was hard on all of us, even on the little boys who aren't too sensitive and the big ones too! Wishing you all the best.

Bethany said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Christy. I'll say a little prayer for you guys after I post this...
I think I understand your thoughts. BC is expensive... (ie "Bring Cash") and it's hard to make it work sometimes. We're thinking of making a move to a neighbouring town for some of the same reasons.

Donovan said...

Hey Christy,

I finally get around to checking out your blog after months of reminders from Vicki, only to find out that you're moving!?
If you're moving, how soon? I'm being completely selfish here because we love your photography and really want you to take some shots of us.
But on the unselfish side, we can understand what you're going through having just done it a couple times. It's a very tough decision and there really is only one right answer; do what is right for you and your family. Family is what matters.
And good luck with finding your new house, I hope it goes smoothly. We've been looking for a house that suits our family better for months, with almost no luck.