I just finished reading this Blog about a little girl named Rebakah who is fighting a rare form of unoperable cancer. Her parents have seen her go from a healthy young three year old to a little girl with barely the energy to walk thirty feet. She has lost all her hair and now has a feeding tube becaause it's too hard for her too eat. The radiation was done on her face and neck as that's where the cancer was located. Due to that fact she now has swelling, redness and sores on her faces and the inside of her mouth.
As a mother of a three year old, I look at Ben and imagine what it would be like to see him laying there on the couch, weakend and wane due to cancer. To see your once healthy child unable to run around now lethargic because of drugs and energy stolen away from radiation. I can't imagine watching your child wince and cry because of the pain that is inescapable. I truly cannot imagine what that would be like.
Today, God brought me to a place and stopped me dead in my tracks. I'm not even sure what exactly it is He's showing me but I know one thing for sure. I am blessed beyond all measure. And not just because I have healthy children and a loving husband. Although that is true and because of that I rejoice. But, because God loves me and my children beyond the finite borders of this universe. Her loves me above and beyond all I could ever ask for or even imagine. He loves little Rebekah and weeps with her mother. He understands the pain of watching a child suffer. I praise him because he carries us through the fire. And while we endure that suffering he purifies us to become a clearer more beautiful reflection of His being. Till one day will reflect him perfectly. Little Rebekah and her parents to me are a reflection of the shining face of Christ. Here is a song written my Mark Schultz. I cry everytime I hear it.
"I'm down on my knees again tonight. I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right. See there is a boy that needs your help. I've done all that I can do myself. His mother is tired. I'm sure you understand. Each night as he sleeps, she goes in to hold his hand. And she tries not to cry, as the tears fill her eyes.
Can you hear me? Am I getting through tonight? Can you see him? Can you make him feel alright? If you can hear me, let me take his place somehow. See he's not just anyone. He's my son.
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep. I dream of the boy he'd like to be. I try to be strong and see him through. But, God who he needs right now is you. Let him grow old, live life without this fear. What would I be, living without him here? He's so tired and hes scared. Let him know that you're there.
Can you hear me? Am I getting through tonight? Can you see him? Can you make him feel alright? If you can hear me, let me take his place somehow. See, he's not just anyone. He's my son."