Sunday, August 27, 2006

Birthday accolades before we split.

Well, despite the insanity that is going on around here with all the packing and whatnot, the kids and i are heading out for a week of camping and relaxation with Gramma and auntie Danielle and cousin Chloe. Sort of a calm before the storm. All our boys are out at the Bowron Lakes for a week of canoeing, fishing, portaging, hiking, and laughter. It has been in the plans for a long time coming and they were all very excited. I already miss him and figure I'd do better with company and relaxation this week than packing alone with an invalid child at my feet. Besides, my wonderful momma is coming out for a few weeks to help before the big moving day. Indeed it will all work out in the end. It always does someway or another.

This week my big boy turns four. FOUR! Can you believe it?! I'm in wonder at how the time has raced by dragging us all with it. Ben is the son I've always dreamed of and have been so blessed to have. Quiet and yet goofy, sweet and sensitive (sometimes overly so), very very smart and slightly witty, beautiful and handsome like his daddy, cuddly but not overly so, brave and yet still cautious, protective of his little sister though he does enjoy pushing her buttons (which i sometimes find rather amusing), shy around stranger but outgoing with those he's comfortable with. I have loved him with increasing intesity as the years pass by us and will never cease to do so. He's teaching me about myself and showing me what kind of mother I long to be. He accepts my mistakes with love and forgiveness and gently reminds me not to "yell anymore". I think i'll have to be careful with the feelings of this one. When he gets in trouble he goes to a different room and hangs his head as the tears silently fall. And when I come in to check on him my heart nearly breaks as he cries aloud and runs into my arms. So sensitive this one. Again, so like his father. Feeling every emotion so deeply. I have to remind myself each day to just sit and hold him as he isn't one to initiate pysical affection and yet he needs it desperately.

I am beyond pround of the little boy he is growing into. I'm beginning to have to let go him more and more and blossom into his independance. Now he wants to go into the "boy bathrooms" at the mall alone. This is scary for me. And when we went to the waterslides for his birthday I watched in fear and pride as he walked up the stairs alone for the first time and went down the slide all by himself into his daddy's giant arms at the end. It seems that since we've discovered we're having another little girl Dustin and Ben have attached themselves to eachother in increasing measure. I love seeing the special bond they share. Almost like they have this special little club and I'm not invited. And isn't that how it should be? What an amazing big brother he'll be to our new baby girl someday.

Ben is very fascinated with babies and will sit and make faces at them for a long long time. He giggles as they grimmace in thier sleep and gently strokes thier soft feet and hands. He loves making little kids laugh at him. And babies love him. Although sometimes he gets carried away and scares them. So cute. Oh I love that boy. He fills my heart. Happy fourth birthday Benjamimah.
I want to put some pictures up too for your enjoyment but Blogger is being retarded. It has been for days. What's up with that?


Jen said...

Ben really is so sweet. I'd love to have a little boy just like him. Happy 4th Birthday Ben!

April said...

I've been feeling all out of the loop these days. Its nice to read & "catch up". I still plan to call you & am waiting to hear any "news".

Take care,

sunshinedaily4me_wuz_here said...

AWW - what a sweet post. Happy Birthday Ben (even though I don't know ya in person..) He is going to make someone very happy one day :) And he has a great mom and dad.

Jenessa Fowke said...

I remember you telling me in Jr. High that you like the name Benjamin. I'm glad you got one!

Angella said...

Happy Birthday Ben! Graham misses you!

Vicki said...

Happy Birthday Ben!