I think I'm going to start keeping a tally on my breakdowns from here until...the end of time. Er....at least until we move. I didn't expect my world to come crashing down on me so soon. I figured I could at least hold things together until we drove our bulging U-Haul across two provinces.
I have this fear/realization that other's people's lives do not revolve around me (WHOA!) and that their lives will go on perfectly happy and fine and wonderful without us.
You mean, I'm not the centre of everyone else's world?!
It's all happening so fast though. I wanted one more dinner party with each of our friends, one more girls night, just another quick trip to Bellingham, I'm not ready to let it all go yet. And yet I'm fully aware that no time will ever be enough. Eventually I just have to suck it up and tape up those final boxes and say goodbye. But, I will be sad. For awhile.
Again, I am so greatful for Dustin. This morning when I was stomping around throwing things into boxes and barking orders, complaining could I get a little HELP around here!! Dustin had the wisdom and insight to see that I wasn't angry with him but rather overwhelmed and sad at the immensity of it all. What a difference seven years of marriage makes. If this had been our first years, we would've dragged that fight out all night long. Yay for maturity!
It probably doesn't help that we're sleep deprived. The other night I hauled a barking, wheezing Liv down to emerg with a nasty case of croup. We arrived home three hours later after advinistering a hefty dose of steriod and a brutal attempt at a ventolin treatment. She's got serious fight in her that one. She's slowly getting better and returning back to her happy/quirky little self.
Welp that's it.