Thursday, June 19, 2008

The count is on.

I think I'm going to start keeping a tally on my breakdowns from here until...the end of time. Er....at least until we move. I didn't expect my world to come crashing down on me so soon. I figured I could at least hold things together until we drove our bulging U-Haul across two provinces.

Nope.

I have this fear/realization that other's people's lives do not revolve around me (WHOA!) and that their lives will go on perfectly happy and fine and wonderful without us.

What?!

You mean, I'm not the centre of everyone else's world?!

huh.

It's all happening so fast though. I wanted one more dinner party with each of our friends, one more girls night, just another quick trip to Bellingham, I'm not ready to let it all go yet. And yet I'm fully aware that no time will ever be enough. Eventually I just have to suck it up and tape up those final boxes and say goodbye. But, I will be sad. For awhile.
Again, I am so greatful for Dustin. This morning when I was stomping around throwing things into boxes and barking orders, complaining could I get a little HELP around here!! Dustin had the wisdom and insight to see that I wasn't angry with him but rather overwhelmed and sad at the immensity of it all. What a difference seven years of marriage makes. If this had been our first years, we would've dragged that fight out all night long. Yay for maturity!

It probably doesn't help that we're sleep deprived. The other night I hauled a barking, wheezing Liv down to emerg with a nasty case of croup. We arrived home three hours later after advinistering a hefty dose of steriod and a brutal attempt at a ventolin treatment. She's got serious fight in her that one. She's slowly getting better and returning back to her happy/quirky little self.

Welp that's it.

Breakdown count....uno.

9 comments:

Bloggy Mama said...

I'm praying for your family, Christy. Sending you love.

Amanda said...

You are the center of MY universe and if it makes you feel any better, my life won't be OK with you gone.
Now I'm going to have a breakdown at the thought of it. :(

Becky said...

Call me anytime you want to talk it out.. and I will reassure you that my life is going to revolve around you guys more now! Yay!

Prue said...

Here's another hug.

Danica said...

and you also want just one more weekend visit with your friends the Grunerts before you go right? on top of all the other mayhem? when are you leaving anyway? it's killing me that you're moving so far away (even though I haven't seen you for a year as it is). boo. pout. whine.

d + r = haye jude fantastico said...

just wanted to let you know that i feel you 100%. we moved away from all our friends and came to kelowna for a change of pace and to be (relatively) closer to family...and i will not lie to you. it's been REALLY tough. it took me months before i didn't break down daily, actually :(

we still don't have many friends here (oh what? alternative-looking families in the okanagan are aliens to be avoided? who would have thought!) but it's getting better, and our relationship has grown a lot in the last 9 months.

so yeah. i dunno. i'm praying for you guys. <3

Cerulean Bill said...

Of course our lives orbit around you. Its just that they orbit around LOTS of people whom we find interesting and charming. Never doubt that you're one of those people.

Jen said...

It's such a tough time Christy. :( Like another commenter said, it take a lot of getting used to. I cried basically daily for two months after leaving Summerland and we were only there less than a year. But it gets better and you realize that every place, every situation, every decision, has it's up and downs. And with Dustin by yourside being the wise soul he is, I think you are in for a lot of 'ups', no matter where you call home.

I understand your wide range of emotions. It's confusing to feel excited, sad, anxious, curious, hopeful and mopey all at the same time. Sending my thoughts and prayers your way!

Susie said...

I can feel all your emotions and have for the last several months. Moving away from Regina was once of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Even harder than moving from Summerland. Not many people understand that, but I felt more ourselves on the prairies than I have ever felt here. It's hard to let that confidence, that faith, and the friendships go. God has a purpose in all we do, good and bad. He will always be with you and I believe there is peace in that. Now that you are loved wherever you go and true friendships can stretch distances. xoxoxo